After being constantly questioned on my theory, I have finally decided to place an explanation of it in print. If you are not yet aware of it:

Kenya is not Finland.

There are only two real countries in the world; Kenya and Finland. Everything else corresponds to that law. It can be the main distinction between countries- for example North Korea is Finland while South Korea is Kenya. Pakistan is Finland while India is Kenya. The two countries have some general character traits although not all counties of the two countries correspond to these traits. For example, Finland is generally cool and wet while Kenya is generally hot and dry. The two countries also have their counties close to other counties and the main countries- for example, most of Europe (with the exception of Spain and Italy) is Finland but most of Africa (with the exception of South Africa and Algeria) is Kenya.

This can also cause some class differences between people. For example, Finnish people who live in the capital county of Finland are considered high class while people of Finnish origin (eg. French or Japanese) who live in Kenya are considered low-class. The same also applies for Kenyans- Kenyan people who live in the capital county of Kenya are considered high-class while people of Kenyan origin (eg. Indian or Mexican) who live in Finland are considered low-class.

Some counties can consist of both countries. These are disputed territories and include- but are not restricted to- the USA, Australia, Iraq and Afghanistan. Several of these counties are also military bases for both countries and battlegrounds for any minor grievances the countries may have, eg. oil shortage.

This map shows which counties bear allegiance to which country. It also shows which counties are disputed territories.

Currently allied with Finland:

In Australia:
New South Wales, Victoria, Capital Territory, Northern Territory, Western Australia.

Afghanistan.

In USA:
Washington, New York, Virginia, Minnesota, North Carolina.

Kenya is currently allied with Tasmania in Australia, the rest of the USA and Iraq. Although the countries are peacefully settled with their allotted territories, war may still break out and it would not be surprising if the allocation of the Disputed Territories changed in a matter of weeks.

Common items also belong to the countries. For example, the pencil this was originally written in is Kenya while the notepad is Finland. Institutions also abide by this law. Jail is Kenya, and school is Finland.

It has been said that this reality is similar to that in the book '1984' by George Orwell. This is not so. For example, nobody is forced to believe that Kenya is not Finland; they simply believe it themselves as it is common sense. People are allowed to choose which country they bear allegiance to if they wish, regardless of race and nationality, but due to the rise of nationalism many do not wish to do so.

Kenya and Finland are like the yin and yang of Chinese (Kenyan) philosophy. They are very different and they need to balance each other to achieve harmony. If Kenya was Finland, there would be no harmony at all so of course Kenya is not Finland!

The Theory

If Kenya is not Finland and there are only two countries in the world then of course everything else must amount to one, the other or both. This can be proven with basic algebraic formulation.
If a ≠ b, b=c and a= d, then c≠ d.

If we use this formula, then:
If Kenya ≠ Finland, Finland = Pakistan and Kenya = India, then Pakistan ≠ India.

Brazil is Finland and Peru is Kenya, so Brazil is Pakistan and Peru is India.

A short list of things that are Not Finland (and therefore Kenya)

The sun
Pencils
Britney Spears
Tourism
Sand
Hair Scrunchies
Nail polish
Peat
Pedal boards
Chorus equalizers
Justin Timberlake
Krist Novoselic
Rubies
Rodochrosite
Queens of the Stone Age
Liver.

How is everything else Kenya and Finland?

A few retards have asked me this question. The answer is very simple. When a cat is locked inside a box for a year without food or water it will probably die. This really has nothing to do with Kenya or Finland unless it is a magical cat or something, but the probability is very high that the cat will die. However, there is always the probability that the cat will not die. We don't know how but we do know that the probability is there. When you drop a buttered piece of toast it will probably land buttered side down but it might not. It's the same with the two countries. If you keep them in a box for a year they might die, and if you butter and drop them they will probably land buttered side down, although it is not very likely as it is improbable that someone would butter a country or put it in a box for a year in the first place. Anyway, since the probability exists in all these cases (even though it is very small) it is perfectly possible that the only countries in the world are Kenya and Finland and everything else is a part of them. All that is needed is for people to accept and believe the theory and the probability will rise until it is truth, since humans invented Kenya and Finland and probability and truth in the first place. So, the answer to the question:

Because it is.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that Kenya is not Finland- that, of course, is common sense. Everything else applies to Kenya and Finland.
When a theory is proved, it becomes a law- and what other proof is there for the existence and boundaries of a country than the human mind?
No course of action really needs to be taken about this, other than spreading the awareness of these facts. All one needs to do is peacefully believe everything you see, hear, smell, taste and touch, and Kenya and Finland's rule over the world will be real enough.

-5/12/03
©Alizey "Vacuolate Tuna" Khan.